Journey To The Truth

The sun shined through the clouds, illuminating my way towards the entrance as people walked in and out from its open gate. There was a road not far from it, big enough to fit two cars next to each other, but still resulting in road rage. I noticed a small squirrel resting upon a tree branch, a slight twitch would follow every action he did.

I haven’t been here before, but the thought of being alone with him overpowered the fear of the unknown. My knees were beginning to quiver, as I drew closer to the entrance and the park became more viewable. The distant hum of vehicles passing by sang within the environment around me, rattling my rib cage.

I stopped in front of the gate and peered over the red bars. My eyes instantly fell upon the pink cherry blossoms that coated the branches of the tree, showcasing the only colour and beauty amongst the greenery.

Everything else was so plain and ordinary. But it stood alone, unique and individual, not afraid to differ from the crowd.

My heart sank at the idea of wanting to be different, even a tree could accomplish being unique. The cold bars pinched at my warm skin and caused me to step back, only for me to collide and back up into something behind me. I wanted to run away but my legs were rooted to the ground, and my body no longer took orders from me.

“Did you wait long?” He asked. I still haven’t faced him. My eyes were glued to my feet and I could no longer feel my heartbeat.

He placed his hand on my shoulder and gave me a gentle squeeze. I wanted to sink into his arms and feel that warmth I once felt. Just before caving into these fantasies, I drifted back to the cherry blossom tree. I could feel my chest become tighter, as I watched tiny petals gently flutter to the earth’s crust.

“Don’t be sad” He murmured, and I could feel the warmth from his breath, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to rise. But I wasn’t going to cave in, not again.

“Let’s go,” I said, as I made my way through the red gates and onto the concrete path that was dressed in green leaves.

It wasn’t long till I heard his footsteps behind me, and I could see his silhouette at the edge of my eyes. Feeling the sweat beads begin to form within my palms, I took a deep breath. Allowing my eyes to wonder around the park, analyzing nature's beauty.

A bench sits alone with only a metal bin as company, they are both used and abused by society, with no one to trust or depend on.

Although the bench was chipped and caked in bird poop, it was able to gain a thick cost of tiny pink kisses from petals the blossoms didn’t need anymore. I could tell they held a mutual agreement where the bench used what the tree didn’t need anymore, and with that, it resulted in something beautiful.

Despite only have taken a few steps into this tiny forest, the walk has felt like an eternity and the path was beginning to show us options.

“Do you want to head over to the bridge or...?”

His voice slightly frightened me as I had forgotten he was here in the first place. Without answering him I made a left turn onto the bridge, thankfully he followed. It would have been quite embarrassing if he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have known if I should continue taking charge or cave in and follow him.

The bridge was short and isn’t much of a bridge but more of a footpath to the other side that went over murky water. If only this water was as beautiful as that tree. I stopped in the middle and rested my elbows on its railings. I could see him place his forearm beside mine, clasping his hands together as he set them down.

My chest was no longer tight, and my knees no longer quivered. Closing my eyes, I allowed my skin to absorb the sun’s rays, appreciating its tiny footsteps that danced across my skin.

It wasn’t long till the ripples in the water began to enchant me, and I bared witness to the wind could manipulating them.

Now and then their directions would shift, whilst being accompanied by the distant rustle of the tree leaves above me.

I caught sight of their pale white feathers while they slowly paddled against the water’s surface, leaving a small triangular-shaped ripple in the water behind them. From time to time they would dip their heads underwater as if they were searching for something.

“I’m sorry”

Only two words, that’s all it takes. Just two words and suddenly my hearts out of control and I’ve forgotten how to breathe.

“I know what I did was wrong. I’m sorry” he said, but I still couldn’t bring myself to look at him.

“Vanessa, I’m serious. It was a game at first but now… now it’s not a game anymore and I-”

“How am I supposed to believe that? How could one believe anything you’re saying right now, Liam?”

Our eyes interlocked only for a second, but it was enough to drain the confidence I once had.

“you made a bet...” I muttered as a lump in my throat began to form and my eyes started to water “you made a bet on my… my heart…”

“I know!” He exclaimed, “and I’m sorry.”

“How can I believe you?”

“Because I love you”

The trees rustle filled the air between us, as people walked onto the bridge. I could tell they felt the sudden increase in density the air had because of us. Their faces would harden, and their eyes would drift between me and Liam.

“…n-no you don’t…”

“I do. I didn’t then but I do now” he said, slowly approaching me with his arms slightly parted. My eyes caught sight of tiny pink petals that drifted across the water’s surface, they looked as if they were going somewhere like they were preparing for something.

“Liar!” I screamed, my tears blurring my vision “You left me alone…”

“What?”

“That night… you left me alone…” I whimpered, trying my best to hold back the tears. My eyes caught sight of a tiny blackbird, as it landed against its neatly made nest, causing a sea of chirping to follow. I could just make out the tips of their tiny beaks, as they illuminated the mini forest with their chirps of hunger.

“Because I was ashamed… ashamed of what I did to you...” He mumbled.

Peering through my tears, I could make out his blurry figure. He was no longer able to look me in the eyes anymore, instead, he too was staring at the tiny bird’s nest.

“I needed you” I whispered

“What?”

“I needed you that night and you weren’t there.” I said as the tears began to overflow from my eyes “I needed you to be there for me. I was scared… and… alone… and you had just left! You left me, to go… to go… to go and gloat to your friends!”

My legs manifested a mind of its own as I belted past him, back onto that beaten down path. I could hear the faint words of I didn’t tell them. But my legs weren’t stopping for anything. I continued down the path as the trees arched over me and the distant chatter of bystanders filled the air. I just wanted to get away, away from everyone’s line of sight.

Scanning the park, I fell upon a tiny set of steps and began following their tiny path until I found myself on a raised landing filled to the brim with grass. Almost as if it were a mini field. A few trees were up here too, they were much larger than the ones downstairs, but nowhere near as beautiful as that cherry blossom tree. My eyes caught sight of a tiny sign and slowly I began to approach it, it read ‘Castle Motte’. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and appreciating my own company. I could feel myself begin to calm down, and my tears were now dry.

Lifting my eyelids, I examined what was left of the old buildings that sat below me; strange how different they look now to how they look in these photos the sign had. I didn’t have to turn around, too realised I was no longer alone. Listening to the slight rustle in the grass his shoes made, he slowly approached me.

Neither of us spoke for a while, instead, we watched the birds flutter past our heads. I could feel the wind taking control of my hair strands, whilst also rattling the branches on the trees. I was beginning to enjoy the silence and appreciating mother nature speak alone for once, but he decided to break it.

“I didn’t tell them because I couldn’t”

“Why did you leave?”

“I told you because I was ashamed.”

“If I hadn’t found out from seeing your phone, would you ever of told me?”

“Of course, I would!” He said, taking a step closer to me. He looked as if he wanted to continue but decided against it.

Silence fell upon us again, until I decided to part my lips. “Did you mean it? When you said it?”

“yeah”

My body began to tingle, not because he admitted he loved me. But because he knew what I was asking him in the first place, without me having to explain it. It means he understands and maybe even cares enough to think for once. Maybe he has changed?

“I love you too,” I said, as I watched the corners of his lips form a heart-warming smile and he cocooned me in his arms. I don’t want to forgive him, but it feels right.